Child Birth and Marital Happiness

There is a sad trend that is found in most marriages when a child is born. Typically marital satisfaction drops after the birth of each child, and rises after the last child leaves the home. This may be attributed to the extra stresses that a child brings on a marriage. Most people would look at the statistics, and think that they should just not bear children. However, if a marriage is properly taken care of before, during, and after the child is born, the couple can maintain marital satisfaction. There are a number of areas I could talk about but I would like to focus on the involvement the husband should have in the process. Here are five things a husband can do to fully engage in the process of child bearing, and nurturing.

1.      The first thing I believe a husband can, and should do to fully engage is to be involved in decisions before the child is born. Just because mom does the bulk of the work in child-bearing does not mean that the father should not get to help in making decisions such as, naming the baby, where and in what way to give birth, and even decisions on how the child will be cared for after birth.

2.      Secondly I think a husband should make it a priority to be involved with doctor’s appointments, and other important experiences during pregnancy. It is in a doctor’s office that one learns about the health of the baby, the baby’s gender, etc. The mother obviously has to be there, but a father should make every effort to be there too.

3.       A husband should be present in the delivery room to comfort, and hold the hand of his wife. Not only will this strengthen their relationship, but give them equal opportunity to experience the joy that comes when the child first enters the world.

4.      When the child is born, the father should make sure he stays involved in the nurturing of the child. This includes tasks such as changing diapers, and bathing the baby, and helping the baby grow into a healthy child.

5.      The father should also take opportunities to have meaningful bonding time with the child such as playing, and reading, and speaking with the baby. This will hopefully form patterns that will last throughout the child’s life.

    The key to marital happiness is not found in the absence of children, but in the consistent effort to maintain a strong marriage before, during, and after children are being born.